The Gist

Wipe your ass all the way to the bank with our premium, money-concealing toilet paper rolls. Each roll comes furnished with a genuine U.S. bank note, hidden between the layers of soft two- ply sheets. Prizes come in every denomination of U.S. bill, from $1 to $100. Click to unravel more.

The Experience:

The experience is yours to make: whether you choose to unravel your roll all at once, or painstakingly tear through the sheets with each bowel movement, when you find what’s in between the layers, you won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face.

The Product:

Each tissue roll is hand-wrapped and fashioned with the utmost of care. A mystery prize in the form of a U.S. bank note has been hidden somewhere inside the layers of the roll. The placement of the note varies from roll to roll – this is designed to enhance the experience of unveiling your mystery prize.

No Redemption Necessary:

There’s no monkey business here – because when it comes to taking care of business, we’ve got your back-side. Unlike other mystery prize products, we don’t supply you with redeemable tokens or shoddy costume jewelry. Your prize is guaranteed to be 100% genuine, U.S. fiat currency – that’s a promise you can take to the bank.

The Dainty Shitter

For the purest of assholes. Single, premium packaged roll: $9.99

The Six-Pack

For those nights when you just want to kick back, relax and wipe your ass. Six individually wrapped premium rolls: $56.94 (Save $0.50 per roll)

Montezuma’s Revenge

You know who you are. Twelve individually wrapped premium rolls: $107.88 (Save $1.00 per roll)